This year the first book I read was The desire Map. It’s a wonderful book. I chose it because this year I am choosing to focus on my spiritual self care. I have spent the past couple of years so focused on achievement. Every year I wanted to achieve as much as possible as fast as possible but no matter what I accomplished I kept feeling less and less satisfied and more and more behind on my goals. I felt forced to come up with larger and larger unreachable goals.
I don’t believe anything is unreachable, but I do thing some goals can be needlessly ambitious. Most importantly the goals I was creating for myself felt empty, cold calculated to point where the soul had long left them. My heart was . no longer in any of these goals I was holding. My peace was disturbed at the thought of my goals. It felt wrong.
The Desire Map addressed those issues. It talks about exactly that, our addiction to “the hustle”, our addiction to achievement.
Often we forget why we even have certain goals. The Desire Map helps us plan from the inside out, focusing on what we want to feel first and foremost. It was a great read, and I recommend it to anyone who is also feeling a bit burned out with the conventional smart goals.
I scrapped all of my previous goals for 2019 and instead I replaced them with four desired feelings that I will use to guide my decision making in 2019.
- Divine Surrender
- At Peace
This feeling to me means letting go. Letting go off my need to always feel in control. Allowing others in my life to feel trusted and putting my faith in God above all. I want to feel as though I am allowing myself to be in the flow. This to me means not overthinking everything, not allowing myself to fester in worry and allow my anxious mind to analyze every detail of a situation. I want to let fear go, bye Fear! So that faith can enter my life and really take hold.
This is a word that I feel came up often in my life toward the end of 2018. I realize one of my biggest desires is to be intentional with my relationship, the way I spend time, consume media, create, spend money, eat and live. I’ve spent too much of my life living mindlessly, unaware of what I am really doing and who I really am. I want to be aware of my actions. That is what being intentional means to me.
When I look back at life at who I am, who I’ve been, I see so many things. I see mistakes, but I also see wonderful things. Out of these, who am I? I feel that the person I am is person who I’ve felt most alive being. I am spontaneous and happy and fully of life and joy. Maybe most us are this way and then fear smothers the fire within us. So this year I want to be luminous, bright, sparkly! I want to be spontaneous and make things happen. I want to be able to see the light in every situation. Luminous.
The past two years I dealt with a lot of anxiety issues. When in the middle of my complete breakdown I remember feeling that I would give the world to feel calm and peaceful. Excitement seemed the most over rated feeling in the world. I’ve brought that with me into 2019. I want to pursue piece. I want to hold my own calm above any achievement. Stress is such a corrosive and destructive feeling. I only want to accomplish that which I am meant to accomplish, not at any cost, my peace of mind is too high a price. Peace is a huge, underrated accomplishment, I seek peace.